both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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