we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
