so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
