Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
