tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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