Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
