I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
