I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
