wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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