Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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