So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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