He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
