Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
