woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did you just see the Batmobile???
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
