My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
