note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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