..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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