If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
