is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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