I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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