dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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