dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
