So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
