Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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