I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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