Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
