wake up i wanna do it froggy style
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My dick has a subreddit
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
