I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
