this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
