he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
