My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
