If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
