He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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