with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
