He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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