Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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