He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
