I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
