Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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