i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
