smell my finger.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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