God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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