I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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