if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
