I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
