saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
