she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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