It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
