hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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