I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
nutella sex= disaster
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
