i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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